Worries

Things have been somewhat woozy these days. I don't really know how to describe it and trust me, you don't know how many blog post I've deleted because I just couldn't get the words right. I've decided to just let the words flow and you know, see how things goes. For someone who owns a blog and tell the almost every moment of her life in the safest place called the Internet, I really prioritize my privacy. How ironic, isn't it? I suppose that's why I barely mention any of the people that I really hang out with. Simply because I just don't know how to bring them up, really. One of them, is, uh, just a love interest and for those of you who really know me (or know him as well), I really don't like to document that nor do I like to "advertise" it. All you folks need to know is that he's a fantastic guy and that boys (and people) here don't think I'm "arrogant" or "intimidating". Many of the people that I know here are actually quite nice. In fact, I had people asking me if I was a dancer or if I "work out" (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I know, it's hilarious). It's a very nice change from the always dramatic girls school.

Sure, I get a few hate here and there but I'm glad I have them. I was actually getting worried that there's something wrong with the people here because they actually like me (I still can barely believe that, trust me). These hate, I think, are healthy and basically normal for me because then I know I'm really being myself amd that there are people who can't accept me. So, I must be doing something right.

But then again, trust my logic. HAH.

I'm worried about other stuff, though, not about my love life because that's one of the right things right now.  I'm worried about, for example, that there is a chance that i'll be getting my very first non-A grade subject (or even subjects, gasp) this time around. But then again, this time around, I had to be quarantined because there was a clash in my exam schedule. American History and Biology in one day. NOT COOL, let me tell you that because you know how my Science subjects totally suck and had always been pulling down my grades so far.

By the time I was done with American History, I was already drained but no, I still had to stay for stinking Biology. Urgh. So, yeah, I barely have any hope for an A or even an A- for that one. The other subject that I'm quite worried about if Golf because now that I think about it, I'm kinda an idiot for taking another subjective subjects. In the first semester, I took Theater and Acting and of course that one, I had more pressure to do well because you know how society is, they would expect you to be a natural genius at something that you claim to do or want to do (like if I wanna be a nurse, people would expect me to be able to stitch up a wound with my eyes closed even without practice, because you know, that's what I want to do for a living. Haih, society). At least for that subject, I can aim and work on my strengths.

Golf, on the other hand, is a sport. Say whatever you want about it not being a sport. It's still not my forte. And so so subjective. I honestly don't know how I did for that one. So, yeah, it's worth being worried about. My straight A's streak is about to be broken then. Boo you, Science and Sports. Eeww.

My other worries will be, of course, related to my portfolio thing again. I keep trying to do way too many things at the same time that I don't know how to actually start. I know I keep whining about this and that I kept changing my mind on how to go around the showcasing video part: Tangled Lies short film or a mini webseries?? There're both pros and cons for both. To make a short film out of Tangled Lies is just a lot of work and when it's done, it's done. But a webseries, it's constant work, on top of other things in my life. It's going to be very tiring, Unless of course, like Wise suggested, use Drama Club and the college as my platform and audience/market respectively, which would totally work. I have to really keep reminding myself that this is not a one man show no matter how I want it to be exactly how I want it to be (one of the many things that I've discovered about myself in the past year is that I'm a bloody perfectionist. If I can complete something on my own, I would because I simply don't trust anyone else enough to do things how I want it to be done. But then, we all know what it would do to one who tries to do everything oneself.)

I suppose I should update on you guys about this another time when I actually have a permanent plan set into motion.

I hope the rest of you are doing well because I am. I think.

Schwork Frustrations

Hehe. Yup. Just as I've expected when I started this thing last April/May. M.I.A for quite some time now, haven't I? Well, I did say I'll try my hardest to keep this blog alive. Here's another thing though, folks. If you've been super duper awesome and actually read my first post, I did mention that I used to run a personal blog such as this one back when I was in high school and one of the reason I shut it down was because there was nothing interesting in my life to blog about. Well, guess what? Now, I have SO MANY things happening that I can barely keep up! There was a week in early November where I was so busy that I barely had any sleep! That's about where I stopped blogging here too because when I tell ya I have no time, I ain't joking. Boy, was that week insane.

So, anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR!  Yup, that's another year gone and two out of six semesters done for me in Nilai. So far, I'm having a pretty good time. I suppose I should fill you all in on what I was "so busy" about, eh? But it's just going to be another long post and I don't want you guys to feel so dreaded reading all these and at the same time, I have no idea how to shorten everything. But anyways, I've decided that they're

Here and There

For those of you who follow me on Twitter and actually read my tweets, you'll most probably know that I was also involved in the organizing team of the college prom. I was in the publicity team under my lady boss, Michelle along with 3 other pretty cool people as teammates (Steve, Illaina and Hajar). Our theme was "Black Swan" and it was supposed to be not just prom, but also the graduation dinner for the graduates (as it was supposed to be held on the night of graduation day) AND it was also a masquerade ball. Ah, masquerade balls. How classy and mysterious, right? I was also very very much involved in the decorating process throughout the whole thing. Masquerade balls, for me, is just one of those things that you know you just have to do, you know? For some people, they refuse to attend prom by using the excuse "I don't have a date" and to combat that, we initially planned a singles' auction but then switched to speed dating! Even us organizing members wanted to join in the fun of Speed Dating (yup, even those who already have dates. HAHA) And yes, I was super excited about it all and to be directly involved in getting the event together too! That meant my thoughts, comments and ideas would be heard and considered! We did a fabulous job, our whole team but sadly, because of some drama with the annoying school management and all, THEY cancelled the whole thing on us. So, yeah, I suppose my first major college event didn't go as well as I would like it to but hey, can't expect everything to be perfect, can I? Besides, I got to meet and became friends with so many cool people along the way despite the drama and I think I totally put my not-so-good Photoshop skills to a whole new level because I got to design a couple of posters. That's something to be proud of. :)

I did these two posters though the Speed Dating one never got printed out. Still proud. :)

Michelle, Emmy, Shaun and Embrys stayed up til about 3am at the SRC office to finish this up only to receive the news that prom was cancelled the very next day. We had a booth at the school walkway and this was supposed to be our decoration for it. The real thing looked about 123489271049374 times better.

Pullman Hotels and Resorts in Putrajaya. It's by the lake and absolutely beautiful at night, drove pass it couple of times. It was supposed to be our venue. 

So, yeah. Kindda sad if you think about it because we had a lot of great ideas that we may never see come to life. But that's okay, I guess it's the school's loss. Sucks for them. BAHAHA.

ANYWAY, after prom got cancelled, we all went back to our normal lives. About a couple of weeks later was already finals weeks. On the weekend before my finals, my parents thought it would be a good idea to go for a short family vaca at Melacca since dad was going over for work at the end of that week and it was going to be a long weekend. I brought my book along but yeah, like that helped anything. I think I only brought it to calm my conscience. Hehe. We've been to Melacca before but that was quite a number of years ago when I was about, what, 12? Of course we went to Jonker Walk. Jonker Walk is one of Melacca town's big highlights and they sell souvenirs. I didn't spend all that much but got super excited when I found a bunch of dream catchers!!

I know they're not the original dream catchers though. But hey, they look pretty! Hehe. I bought two, one bigger one and the another smaller one. Gave the bigger one to a friend and kept the smaller one to myself.

I only had 3 days of finals since I only have 4 papers to sit for and they were all in 3 consecutive days. Starting with English Composition on the first day, American History and Acting on the second and Chemistry on the last day.

And I've also gotten my results back. Hehe. Super proud of myself. I mean, c'mon an A- for Chemistry? That's really something. For someone who had gotten a C for the very same subject for SPM. :)

With a CGPA of 3.91, the pressure is on for the next sem. :|